OMG WTF OMG aaaarrgh aargh aaargh voiperkele HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH!!!
Lordi won the Eurovision!!!!!
This is the first time Finland has ever been in the finals, and actually winning this short-skirted pop-princess shootout has been considered just about as probable as a spontaneous quantum wave travelling through the planet and making everybody speak Finnish.
But they won!!! The goddamn monsters won and turned the final scenes into some sort of psychedelic montage from “Eurovision Contest of the Living Dead” by George Romero.
The only possible explanation is that the next thing on TV is going to be a speech by President Gore, and I’ll be flying to work on Monday wearing my jetpack.
We’re now in the parallel universe where something finally went right.