Just when you think that the world cannot get any more surreal (Courtney Love having Alan Partridge’s secret love child, anyone?) it suddenly does, as this recent news demonstrates.
Ashgabat, 26 August 2005 (nCa) —- Ruhnama, a moral and spiritual code penned by President Niyazov of Turkmenistan, has been launched into outer space.
Russian conversion rocket carrier Dnepr released Thursday a capsule containing the flag and standard of Turkmenistan and Ruhnama in the near-earth orbit.
Russia and Turkmenistan started cooperating in space projects in November 2002. A protocol between the ministry of defence of Turkmenistan and Russian space and aviation agency specifies terms for interaction in peaceful development of space.
Nyazov, better known as the Turkmenbashi, is completely nuts. James Bond villain nuts. Or worse. In Ashgabat, the capital of Turkmenistan, there is a gold-plated revolving statue of him that always faces the sun. Nevertheless, the Turkmenbashi himself is modest: “I’m personally against seeing my pictures and statues in the streets - but it’s what the people want.”
It gets much, much weirder. The Turkmenbashi is also fond of modifying language and educational reforms. January was renamed to Turkmenbashi, and April is named Gurbansoltan, after his mother. He has also banned long hair, beards, and gold teeth. In the realm of the arts, Niyazov has banned ballet, opera, lip syncing when performing songs, and most recently, all recorded music. In August 2004, he ordered that a giant ice palace be constructed in the middle of the desert country, “so that Turkmen children will learn to ice skate”, although many observers have said that without some form of technical assistance it will be an impossible dream.
The Turkmenbashi’s magnum opus, now in orbit, has a very special place in the country. The Ruhnama — apparently a loose collection of autobiographical notes and Sufist poetry — is the primary school text, and you have to study it for 16 hours to obtain a driver’s license in Turkmenistan. In addition to the space-borne edition, there is also a giant-sized one that opens ceremonially every night in Ashgabat.
For all this comic-book villainry, there are very real human rights violations going on in Turkmenistan, and dissidents tend to conveniently disappear. Nyazov has his finger firmly on the vast oil and natural gas artery of the country, so foreign leaders tolerate him (even the U.S. still maintains diplomatic relations with Turkmenistan).
Fortunately, low Earth orbits tend to decay pretty quickly: somehow, I don’t think that leaving the Ruhnama for alien visitors to discover would be such a good idea.